The online dating sector has expanded the Urban Dictionary with numerous new additions and the latest addition for 2019 is curving.
So what is curving? It’s really a subtle variation of ghosting. But what on earth is ghosting? Ghosting can be defined as a disappearing act and the removal of all contact by someone particularly in the context of an online dating romantic relationship.
Curving doesn’t involve removing all contact, but ultimately, it’s rejection albeit with less clarity. So someone will respond to a text or message from a sender trying to determine if the recipient is interested but give an evasive, lukewarm or noncommittal reply. It not a malicious act such as the term breadcrumbing where daters intentionally string some along with seeds of hope whereas, in reality, they have no interest whatsoever if pursuing romantic possibilities. Curvers are, more often than not, trying not to hurt someone’s feelings and are just avoiding being overly harsh and frank.
It’s not necessarily a bad trait to desire to avoid confrontation, and if someone is a polite, mild-mannered individual, then it’s better to read the signs as opposed to demanding a frank response. After all, you do need to value yourself and if someone is decidedly lukewarm or evasive then just tell yourself you deserve better than that.
It’s not as extreme as ghosting
Under some circumstances it can mean that a dating prospect hasn’t wholly ruled you out but, right now, they aren’t overly interested and you are far from a top priority. Perhaps they had tried being frank before and had an abrasive response and have adapted their responses accordingly. Curving may also result from the brain overload of choices that swiping sites have produced. This has resulted in a familiar feeling that there is always someone a bit better just one swipe away.
Of course, if you are really attracted to someone, and they keep responding with polite indifference it can still be difficult to give up the contact. After all, you may think you can either win someone . Alternatively, you may mistakenly perceive someone as just being laid back as opposed to genuinely disinterested. The tell-tale signs of curving, however, include someone never initiating a question or failing to make contact if you don’t message them. The conversation just goes deathly quiet.
For ‘curvers’, it may be hard, but honest really is the best policy. For recipient ‘curvees’, then ask yourself whether lukewarm indifference is what you are looking for. There will be plenty more possibilities where the essential ingredients for a successful relationship of warmth and enthusiasm are evident.
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